Necessary questions

Sometimes I wonder how people conclude they are in love with someone and immediately want to go into marriage!. Most of the relationships outside today are boys and girls relationship which are majorly based on present feelings. Most times, the underlying factors for love in such relationship are mere fantasies like beauty, intelligence, smartness, cuteness, boldness, money, sex, cleanliness, etc which always end in a mirage. Although, those aforementioned factors are necessary for first attraction between two lovers, but I believe they are not enough to effectively stamp love in a relationship.

As a lady or guy who thinks he or she is in love, there are numerous *'necessary questions'* that are needed to be asked. As a guy, have you really searched through your heart why you love that lady? If you have, thumbs up. But the *big questions are:* *for how long?, what about if those qualities that make me love her now are no more there?, does she really fit into my future plans?, she is slim, hot and sexy today, will i still love her if she gets fat after child birth?, can i cope with her ideas? Have you thought about her family? Is her family the type you would want to mingle it? Most importantly, have you asked God about that relationship? If she is involved in an accident, would you still love her? Have you done the necesaary tests in the hospital to ascertain your genotypes andblood groups? If the babies are not coming after marriage, would you endure with her, love her and say no to outside pressure from family and friends to take a second wife?.* I believe these and more are important questions men have to ask themselves before taking that final decision about love and marriage.

Furthermore, for the ladies, have you asked yourself some big questions? You are in love with that guy because of his money, position, handsomeness, eloquence, good job, sex, etc. Hmm!!! *would you still love him if those riches are gone? Would you stay if he lost his million dollar job? Would you still be with him if he falls ill? Will you still continue to love him if he has an accident that renders him physically challenged? Does he fit into your future plans? He is funny and jovial now, what of if he is overwhelmed with the struggles of catering for the family and he is no longer jovial or funny, will you cheer him on and still love him? Moreso, have you asked God? Are your parents in support? Have you done the necessary tests in the hospital to ascertain your general health status?.* These questions and more are necessary questions a lady should ask before she says yes and agree finally to walk down the aisle with that man.

In conclusion, gentle-men and ladies, please don't fall victim of broken marriages or marriages filled with agony and  pain. Take your time to evaluate your spouse and search through your heart to define answers to necessary questions your heart raised.

Ask each other questions about the future. Questions like the number of kids you would like to have, where to settle down, job or business plans, etc. You just ask!

 Oyetunde Apesinola